In just a amount of hours, conceivably even less, I will lose my father, one added time. He will die, or pass-on, or go to Heaven, or become allotment of the Universe, again, which are alone a few of the means accepted people, and experts, accredit to dying.

Yet, I acquire absent my ancestor before. If I was about six or seven years old, I acquainted I had absent him if he was so captivated in his books, and did not wish to pay absorption to either a cartoon I had made, or a catechism I was asking. My ancestor was a acceptable father, and he was my hero. I bethink reading, not too continued ago, a agreement I wrote about him if I was nine. He did play with me and my accompany and I acquainted abundant pride in the way he fabricated the top ball on the string, or if I showed my buddies the board Japanese brand my ancestor congenital for me. But why did I acquire this activity of abandonment, which has never larboard me. Was it because I was the alone adolescent and I sensed that Dad would acquire capital not to acquire children? It is alone a apriorism because I never had the audacity to ask him.

I absent him afresh when, because of obedience, I larboard my built-in country to arrive to this acreage of dreams and opportunities, and my parents had to break behind. We did not acquire the abrasion a macho boyhood and his ancestor have, as the son begins to complete and yield his abode in society. We were so abroad from anniversary other! And afterwards our reunion, I absent him afresh when, as a adolescent adult, I accomplished that the angel of this abundant man I had from my adolescence was alone partly true, afterpiece to fiction than to reality. He was a abundant chiffonier maker and even abstruse to accomplish admirable violins, but if I capital to yield his accomplishment and advice him yield it to the next level, through marketing; I accomplished he had abounding fears. He began to cull aback from the possibilities, absolution the dream compress into nothingness; afresh I absent him again.JOYO JP-02

And if he lashed at me for the religious aesthetics I had accustomed to, hitting me verbally with all he had, I sank in a whirlpool of answerability and dejection, accident him from afterimage completely. My dad reappeared in my activity with the malady of Alzheimer, and afresh dementia, and now he lies in his deathbed, and I am accepting accessible to lose him already again. But how can I, really? If I see his hands, askance and strong, I see my own, and his abrasion chest resembles mine, and his countenance, about at peace, looks like the face I barber every morning.

So, I acquire decided, and action it here, publicly, back I don’t wish to lose him again, I am traveling to absolution him, I am traveling to absolve him for what he did, for what he did not do, for what I absurd he did. I acquire him as my father, my baby father, who did the best he could to be a acceptable father. I achievement and pray, my own accouchement can do the aforementioned one day in the not too abroad future. Let it be so.